Sunday, September 26, 2004

The sun returns

It has been a tough day. Nothing major, but since I had serious difficulty sleeping due to an overactive brain, a late nap,a rooster crowing, and too much chocolate, it set me up for a meltdown. I didn't actually meltdown, though, I just felt right on the edge all day. I have been feeling more of the sadness, and there have been other things that I choose not to discuss that have been occupying much brainwave activity. It has been extremely hard to concentrate. I have heard that grief does this, but so does sleep deprivation. The cloudy weather today matched my gloomy mood, but by evening the sun peeked out before tucking itself below the horizon. This little gesture gave me hope.
The sermon today helped too. I missed some of the beginning, but what I gathered was that we need to draw on the "account" where God has deposited such incredible forgiveness and grace. If we walk about like it isn't there, our life will not be changed. I was also confronted with the verses I came across from my bible study prep.

Romans 12:1-2 " And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice-the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his way really is." NLT
Wow, just what I needed to hear, but didn't want to. "...Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Eureka! That is what is happening to me, but I really haven't been faithful in doing my "part" in facilitating growth....Back to work.