Sunday, January 30, 2005

Another mellow Sunday

Snowed in for the second Sunday in a row, and I confess, short of missing worship this morning it has been an ideal day. Lazed around in jammies for several hours, played in the snow with my boys while Prettiness napped, totally organized (well, mostly) the boys room and vacuumed (oh it was gross in there) , baked up some snacks for "Game Night" tomorrow with my Bible study bunch, and I didn't have to wash the salt of my car, because the snow did it for me.

Fresh tunes

I have been listening to WTMD fairly regularly now in my car, mostly, and I have for the most part enjoyed the experience. Last week, as I parked in front of the Jo-Ann fabric store, I had to stay and finish listening to Willy Mason's "Oxygen". This song is so soulful, and it just touched me, so my music store has ordered me a copy of " Where the Humans Eat". I am also diggin' the band Dogs Die in Hot Cars. They have a mod new-wave sound--a blend of Elvis Costello, Howard Jones and their own distinctness. Particularly fond of "Godhopping" although I haven't really taken a look at the words yet.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

What do ChristianTherapists read?

My counselor/therapist is a Christian, in fact he is an elder at my church. He rarely tells me anything about himself, as I would expect is most professional of him, but this last visit, he shared that he and the others in the office have been reading this book: A Generous Orthodoxy.
Now I am intrigued, as I too am interested in this topic.

I'm so excited!

It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but of all my "grown-up" years (since 1994) I have only had a dishwasher for two of them. Those were the two years that I lived in apartment complexes paying way too much rent, but I really loved having a dishwasher. The past two and a half years I have been without, until today! My sister-in-law just moved into her new home with her husband and baby-on-the-way, and they gave me their old portable dishwasher. My brother-in-law and his wife just delivered it tonight, and not a moment too soon. I have been cooking all day for my mom's birthday, (Happy Birthday, Mom) and even though Lynn was just here helping me catch up with chores, I have once again filled the sink to brimming with mixing bowls, measuring cups, plates, silverware and a very greasy roasting pan.

If you are interested, here was the menu for this evening:
*Green leaf lettuce salad with Raspberry Walnut Vinegret Dressing
*Hahn Estates 2003 Montery Merlot
*Maple-glazed Roasted Duckling with McIntosh Apples
*Red Potatoes with butter and thyme
*Fresh steamed Green beans
*Chocolate Cream Cake with Chocolate sour cream icing
*Neopolitan Ice cream
*Hot Tea (presently not equipped for coffee making)

Mmmmm, my tummy is full and happy. Just finishing off my wine and feeling very satisfied with the evening. Mother was properly "Birthday-ed" and I am pleased.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Bowl for a Buck!

There isn't much you can do for a dollar these days, but here is one of them. Parkville Bowling Lanes has $1 a game duckpin bowling from 4-6pm every weekday! Rumor has it that many local bowling alleys do this, because it is the slowest time of day for bowling--it is certainly worth checking out. We tried this fun form of recreation today with another homeschooling family and had a blast.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

a new hope, and I don't mean star wars...

I feel that since late last week I am starting to feel like my old self again. No, I haven't been ill, just a little depressed. The dark clouds that have been hovering over my head shed some snow, and now they are lighter and not so threatening.

I met with my friend/ former employer, Sarah Veblen, yesterday to catch up and talk about possibly taking one of her classes, and possibly getting back into sewing in a more regular-support-myself-and-the-kids kind of way. She may have some leads for me in the future, and that is hopeful. She is always so complimentary of me and my work potential, it is always a boost of encouragement to visit with her. The visit was cut short, so I didn't get to see what she has brewing in her studio, so we left it open for another visit in the near future.

I appreciate the verses given to me by my mom, and friends, during these several dark weeks, thank you. I make no promises of not repeating this cycle, in fact it should be expected--I am told.

I was especially blessed by this verse last night that was in the boys' devotional last night:
Isaiah 58:11
"I will always guide you. I will satisfy your needs in a land that is baked by the sun. I will make you stronger. You will be like a garden that has plenty of water. You will be like a spring that never runs dry."

I also am grateful for the help of my sisters in Christ who have been lending a hand every now and again...Today especially thankful for Lynn, who washed my dishes, folded laundry and mopped my floor, so I had some time to spend with my boys, and for mom beginning to recover from her illness and to babysit for a couple hours--keep taking it easy, mom.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Garden State

Just finished watching Garden State tonight. *deep sigh* Wow, it hit me hard.

In his attempt to help his son (Andrew Largeman) deal with grief, the psychiatrist father has prescribed him so many meds that he is too numb to feel anything - even the good stuff.

There are many times these days when I wish I could numb all the pain that I feel, and I have tried some of the lesser methods, but they always wear off, and the pain is still there when it does. We can not escape life. It happens and we need to deal with it. "Sometimes life just effing hurts." Unfortunately this film doesn't offer the same kind of hope that we Christians can have in knowing that it is all for a purpose, part of God's intricate design. But yet, somehow the movie is hopeful. Largeman begins to unlock his guilt, anger and grief and deals with it. The healing process comes with unexpected companionship, and clarity (not taking the meds), and some bizarre friendships.

Oh, yes and thank-you, person who recommended the soundtrack to this film, it is indeed worth a listen.

Joyella's disclaimer:
This film is a little gritty with real-life kind of content, which is never tidy. There is a lot of swearing, drug use and other racey material. There, I have warned you.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Bloody lawsuit?

I took the fam to Cheeburger Cheeburger tonight as a little treat, since I rarely take them out, and I really didn't feel like cooking or cleaning up afterward. All went well until when we were getting ready to go, I notice blood all over little Prettiness' hand. Somehow she had cut her index finger and the darn thing would not stop. I guess small people pump their blood rather quickly, and for a reason beyond me it would not clot. I tried holding a paper towel to it - firmly- for many minutes, and it still didn't stop. By the time I had bundled the kids into the car and driven across the vast parking lot to the Blockbuster, selected Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back and Garden State, and moved up to the check out, she had blood smeared all over her face.

If I were a different sort of person, I am sure I would see opportunity in this bloody event. A chance to make a profit off of some capitalist chain restaurant--I am sure they are at fault (I say tongue in cheek). I really have no idea what caused the cut. It sort of looked like a deep paper cut, but I couldn't find any sharp edges- nor did I really want to, I just wanted to stop the bleeding. For all I know, she could have bit her own finger on a sharp edge of a new tooth, but it didn't really look like that kind of cut. The whole thing didn't faze her a bit. By the time we got back home, she was sucking on her new booboo - it was still bleeding. So I quickly washed her and the cut off and bandaged it. Bandaging a baby's finger is kind of ridiculous though, fortunately she was just about to go to bed for the night and that would give it time to heal before she figures out how to get that bandage off and eat it... I doubt it will still be there in the morning.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

My little Potato Eater or Forgotten Pleasures Remembered

Tonight I relished watching little "Prettiness" eat mashed potatoes. There is nothing so pleasurable to a toddler as reaching a chubby hand into a pile of pasty food and smearing into her mouth. It made me want to eat them that way too, only I was holding her on my lap, so I refrained and just observed. No doubt, this eating adventure required bathing afterward, which is something my little girl has been loathing for the past three months. Ever since that horrible case of diaper rash, she has had a bath-phobia and would scream bloody murder at the near sight of anything resembling a tub of water. I had resorted to washing her up while sitting her on a towel on my lap, and once taken her in the shower with me, but she was just too slippery and it is hard to wash my hair using only one hand. Anyway, I ventured to give her a proper bath tonight and she only cried for a few minutes and then began to remember the forgotten pleasures of splashing and pouring water. She didn't even want to get out, but since she was beginning to shiver, I figured it was time. Oh, I hope next bath she remembers that she does like it after all and doesn't give me a fit.

ha ha, that blogger!

Well, for some odd reason unbeknownst to me, my photo finally published into my profile. I have been trying to change it for what two weeks now? I haven't even gotten a response from the "Blogger Helps"...but they are working on it, I am sure....

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Which blogs do I read?

A while back, Kris asked me which blogs I like to visit and read on a regular (some are more regular than others, but all are good ones) basis. Well on most blogs there is a place to list them, but I haven't yet figured out how to do that on the sidebar, it may very well be that this template doesn't allow for it, so I thought I would just list and link them here if any of you visitors are curious. It also gives my blog buddies a little publicity, not much, because I am read less than many of them, but that is just fine with me.... So here goes:

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Good bye HFS

Yesterday was the last day that local radio station WHFS played on the air. It is now a local Latino-Hispanic station, which came as quite a shock when I hit my pre-programmed button yesterday and heard someone crooning en Espangol. (If you are curious like I was about this sudden unexpected change see here and read all about it.) I started listening to HFS back in the mid 80's when it was still an independent alternative station. I discovered it through my punk-rock sister, and really liked it. Then it gradually became, well, not so special. Lots of angry boy-bands and lots of commercials. The Flashback cafe was always fun, and the main reason I still hung in there with HFS. I even attended one of the first HFStivals -the one at Lake Fairfax, that was so fun, like a mini-alternative-woodstock, the Violent Femmes were the headliners. "Do you like American music?" It was very memorable. But now I search for a new alternative station that will play all my high-school favorites as well as new groovy tunes. Perhaps the WRNR is the one, although I always have found it ironic that a disc jockey (remember Damien?) would have a speech impediment.

Special friends

Friends who can feel comfortable enough to just drop by are the most precious of all.

Tonight much to my surprise I had two (or I should say three) unexpected but very welcome visitors, and it must have been divine intervention... Only God knew I would get such an awful, confrontational phone call from M tonight. It was so good to have support right there on the spot. Thank you friends, you know who you are, and I love you all very much.

I wrote many, many pages in my journal (I write in large letters when I'm angry) and drew another picture tonight. It helped a lot to vent in these productive ways, now I am just relaxing with a cosmo and checking out the "sphere".

Wednesday, January 12, 2005


Sometimes we need to clear our schedules, and have some down-time, and just "be". I suppose that is what I have needed, because I have simply forgotten several things in my schedule this week, and not remembered them until they have long passed. My mind has been elsewhere. It has been nice to chill with the kinderen and not feel pressured to be anywhere, but we missed a homeschool field trip yesterday--I even had that one written down on the calendar. We missed WOW this morning, but I wasn't dead-set on going today anyhow, even though it was the first one for the new season. I almost ditched Bible study Monday night, but since Judy called me the night before, I felt obliged. I really think all of the socializing over Christmas holiday, and New Year's has turned me back into the hermit I once was... I'm sure it won't last long. Usually I have the snow as an excuse to not go anywhere for a while. See, we live on this ginormous hill that is pretty darn precarious in inclement weather, and I am lacking four-wheel-drive, so I will stay in until the asphalt thaws a bit, and that can take a couple days-depending on the sun/wind/temp scenario. I am still hoping to see some snow this winter, there has been way too much dreary rain. Snow is much more interesting. It is sculptable, makes a great weapon, a slippery medium for transportation, and it is a great sound insulator. It also looks purty.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Cool live music in my own backyard

Okay it wasn't in my backyard, but it once was my house...

I live right next door to the house I grew up in from age 5-11, and it now is property to a PCA church here in town. The house is now used for youth meetings, sunday classes, housing missionaries and some college guys live upstairs (it is a really big house). Last night was a "Coffe House" for the twenty-something crowd, but I crashed it since my brother-in-law, Greg the awesome guitarist, bassist, and vocalist and my best-friend's little sister, Molly the wonderful singer/songwriter/guitarist were playing there live. Molly's talent has really blossomed these past few years, she's out of college now and I hope she gets "noticed" soon.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

A Book Meme

From Rae, who got it from the Llamas, who swiped it from JenSpeaks and she borrowed it from Fire Ant Gazette: A book meme. Copy the list from the last person in the chain, delete the names of the authors you don't have on your home library shelves and replace them with names of authors you do have. Bold the replacements.
From my shelves:

1. J.K. Rowling
2. Peter Mayle
3. J.M. Barrie
4. Jane Austen
5. CS Lewis
6. JRR Tolkien
7. Emily Brontë
8. Gustave Flaubert
9. Louisa May Alcott
10. William Shakespeare

(Rae, it looks like you and I have similar tastes, because the authors of yours I replaced, I have read, but just don't own.)

A real day "off"

Dropped off all three children, yesterday at 5pm with M. He has them all until 4pm today.

It feels funny to wake up lazily in bed, not having anyone begging me for anything, not being "on" to the demands of others. My internal clock woke me at 7:30, but I hit the internal snooze a few times. A leisure that I haven't experienced in quite a long time, for when I have left L overnight before, I was either hosting a guest (Tif) or being one (Tif's). This time, it is just me. I am really enjoying it, but now I think I must get out of my jimjams and get dressed, because it is after 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

The incredible shrinking man, and other weird stuff Inge put in my stocking

My Christmas stocking was filled not only by me, it turns out. I hadn't mentioned it before, because, well, I've been in a bit of a funk and hadn't felt like it. Inge, my dear sister (in-law) and long-time friend dropped by on Christmas eve and plopped some surprises in my sock. We have enjoyed the boyfriend I grew in the bathtub, and now we are watching him shrink back to his two inch size. My sons have been fascinated with the effects of water on porous rubber (filled with some super-absorbant gel -like in diapers). I just tasted my first bit of Hello Kitty Chewing Candy, and I thought it would be like gum, but it was more like starburst or taffy--but a weird flavor-fruity, but non-descript. I really like the Emily the Strange Fire flavored gum too, it is eye-watering strong and cinnamonny, but it loses its "fire" a little too soon. I painted my nails pale pink last week with the polish she deposited too, but it never stays nice long with all the hand dishwashing, so I had to take it off so as not to look too "white trash".

I had another surprise delivered today: some venison. My dad's friend, Chip, is a hunter, and brought me some of his kill. Mmm, can't wait to cook me up some Bambi. Hehe. Oh, where is the "Grillmaster" when I need him most?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Oh, happy new year

I did it. I survived. I made it through the Christmas - New Year holiday with only one complete melt-down, and only emptied one box of tissues. (This is a huge improvement on last year.)

I had fun with my Philly friend Tif, as she rang in the new year with me and some other friends. There was lots of good food and drink and I stayed up way too late, continuing my tradition of beginning the new year sleep-deprived - just three solid hours of shut-eye. Prettiness woke me before the sun came up--and I actually saw the sun rise on the first day of this year. (It was a gorgeous rosy pink one too.) How many of you can make that claim?

As an introvert, I think I have filled my social quota for the whole season in the past week, and that makes me tired, but so does all of the emotion.

I am rethinking some of my scheduling commitments this year, I need to take better stock of my time and energy and focus on the most important things to nurture myself and my children. I need to follow Randy's example and have a day of reflection and make the necessary changes for this year. (By the way, Randy said I can invite you all to the discussion forums he has going, but you do need to register first--to dodge any of the evil Spammeristas who shut down his blog, those dirty rats!)

me again Posted by Hello