why bother?

Lately I've been trying to decide if I still want to keep blogging. I feel like it's lost it's importance to me, having been replaced by, well, nothing really. I'm just not sure why I blog anymore. The reasons and motivations have changed over the past few years. Perhaps it's just a slump... or perhaps I'm just feeling like everything in my life these days is futile.... it must be the winter.

It is hard to feel motivated to do much around here, knowing that I'm the only one who will notice. Maybe I need to remind myself that I'm worth it, but it's not really that. It's not that I don't feel worthy of a clean, tidy house... it's that the work, the tiresome, repetitive work of maintenance goes unnoticed, unappreciated and only gets messed up again within minutes. Mopping the kitchen floor seems an invitation to spills, changing the bed linens seems an invitation to "accidents" in the night, putting all the toys away only stimulates more creative play at which time, everything comes back out again, and cooking interesting food just produces extra dirty dishes and frowns around the table. "Why can't we have___________ instead?"

So I push the boulder up the hill once more, only to watch it roll back down again.
After rereading that post from Christmas past, I am somewhat encouraged by my own musings and those writings I quoted in that post, and now I remember why I do this blog thing... to remind myself why I do any of it at all.

All for Jesus!
All for Jesus!
All my being's ransomed powers:
All my thoughts, and words and doings,
all my days and all my hours.*

kind of a mom

Watched "Nanny McPhee" tonight with the kiddos. And they were having some trouble understanding who the women in the household were at the beginning. Being middle class kids of the twenty first century it's hard to comprehend the idea of servants, cooks and housekeepers. It's made clear that the mom has died at the beginning of the film, which is the reason a nanny is needed, however, my children were perplexed with the roles of the scullery maid and cook. "Is she the mom?" they persisted in asking. "No," I replied, "she's a housekeeper. You know she brings out the food and cleans up." To which my daughter (age 4) responded matter of factly, "That's kind of a mom." I'm trying not to let that oversimplified job description irk me... and let it be a reminder to get my kids to help out more, especially with the cleaning up!

Would you could you with a mouse? part II

K has been asking me all week to fetch a set of hot wheels tracks from the attic. And since today he finally lost his third tooth, I agreed to retrieve the set. After the school work had been finished and lunch was consumed, I borrowed the ladder from Oma's kitchen and climbed into the attic. I don't know if I've mentioned it lately, but I have been hearing things at night. I was pretty sure I had critters in the ceiling but today I saw the evidence: little droppings and chewed cardboard boxes. If Jasmine, our seventeen year old cat, wasn't so tired and rickety and it wasn't winter, I'd have half a mind to toss her up there for the night. I'm not a big fan of the mouse trap. I suppose the good news is I know it isn't a poltergeist making all that racket.