Special friends

Friends who can feel comfortable enough to just drop by are the most precious of all.

Tonight much to my surprise I had two (or I should say three) unexpected but very welcome visitors, and it must have been divine intervention... Only God knew I would get such an awful, confrontational phone call from M tonight. It was so good to have support right there on the spot. Thank you friends, you know who you are, and I love you all very much.

I wrote many, many pages in my journal (I write in large letters when I'm angry) and drew another picture tonight. It helped a lot to vent in these productive ways, now I am just relaxing with a cosmo and checking out the "sphere".

Forgetful

Sometimes we need to clear our schedules, and have some down-time, and just "be". I suppose that is what I have needed, because I have simply forgotten several things in my schedule this week, and not remembered them until they have long passed. My mind has been elsewhere. It has been nice to chill with the kinderen and not feel pressured to be anywhere, but we missed a homeschool field trip yesterday--I even had that one written down on the calendar. We missed WOW this morning, but I wasn't dead-set on going today anyhow, even though it was the first one for the new season. I almost ditched Bible study Monday night, but since Judy called me the night before, I felt obliged. I really think all of the socializing over Christmas holiday, and New Year's has turned me back into the hermit I once was... I'm sure it won't last long. Usually I have the snow as an excuse to not go anywhere for a while. See, we live on this ginormous hill that is pretty darn precarious in inclement weather, and I am lacking four-wheel-drive, so I will stay in until the asphalt thaws a bit, and that can take a couple days-depending on the sun/wind/temp scenario. I am still hoping to see some snow this winter, there has been way too much dreary rain. Snow is much more interesting. It is sculptable, makes a great weapon, a slippery medium for transportation, and it is a great sound insulator. It also looks purty.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Cool live music in my own backyard

Okay it wasn't in my backyard, but it once was my house...

I live right next door to the house I grew up in from age 5-11, and it now is property to a PCA church here in town. The house is now used for youth meetings, sunday classes, housing missionaries and some college guys live upstairs (it is a really big house). Last night was a "Coffe House" for the twenty-something crowd, but I crashed it since my brother-in-law, Greg the awesome guitarist, bassist, and vocalist and my best-friend's little sister, Molly the wonderful singer/songwriter/guitarist were playing there live. Molly's talent has really blossomed these past few years, she's out of college now and I hope she gets "noticed" soon.

A Book Meme

From Rae, who got it from the Llamas, who swiped it from JenSpeaks and she borrowed it from Fire Ant Gazette: A book meme. Copy the list from the last person in the chain, delete the names of the authors you don't have on your home library shelves and replace them with names of authors you do have. Bold the replacements.
From my shelves:

1. J.K. Rowling
2. Peter Mayle
3. J.M. Barrie
4. Jane Austen
5. CS Lewis
6. JRR Tolkien
7. Emily Brontë
8. Gustave Flaubert
9. Louisa May Alcott
10. William Shakespeare

(Rae, it looks like you and I have similar tastes, because the authors of yours I replaced, I have read, but just don't own.)

A real day "off"

Dropped off all three children, yesterday at 5pm with M. He has them all until 4pm today.

It feels funny to wake up lazily in bed, not having anyone begging me for anything, not being "on" to the demands of others. My internal clock woke me at 7:30, but I hit the internal snooze a few times. A leisure that I haven't experienced in quite a long time, for when I have left L overnight before, I was either hosting a guest (Tif) or being one (Tif's). This time, it is just me. I am really enjoying it, but now I think I must get out of my jimjams and get dressed, because it is after 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

The incredible shrinking man, and other weird stuff Inge put in my stocking

My Christmas stocking was filled not only by me, it turns out. I hadn't mentioned it before, because, well, I've been in a bit of a funk and hadn't felt like it. Inge, my dear sister (in-law) and long-time friend dropped by on Christmas eve and plopped some surprises in my sock. We have enjoyed the boyfriend I grew in the bathtub, and now we are watching him shrink back to his two inch size. My sons have been fascinated with the effects of water on porous rubber (filled with some super-absorbant gel -like in diapers). I just tasted my first bit of Hello Kitty Chewing Candy, and I thought it would be like gum, but it was more like starburst or taffy--but a weird flavor-fruity, but non-descript. I really like the Emily the Strange Fire flavored gum too, it is eye-watering strong and cinnamonny, but it loses its "fire" a little too soon. I painted my nails pale pink last week with the polish she deposited too, but it never stays nice long with all the hand dishwashing, so I had to take it off so as not to look too "white trash".

I had another surprise delivered today: some venison. My dad's friend, Chip, is a hunter, and brought me some of his kill. Mmm, can't wait to cook me up some Bambi. Hehe. Oh, where is the "Grillmaster" when I need him most?

Oh, happy new year

I did it. I survived. I made it through the Christmas - New Year holiday with only one complete melt-down, and only emptied one box of tissues. (This is a huge improvement on last year.)

I had fun with my Philly friend Tif, as she rang in the new year with me and some other friends. There was lots of good food and drink and I stayed up way too late, continuing my tradition of beginning the new year sleep-deprived - just three solid hours of shut-eye. Prettiness woke me before the sun came up--and I actually saw the sun rise on the first day of this year. (It was a gorgeous rosy pink one too.) How many of you can make that claim?

As an introvert, I think I have filled my social quota for the whole season in the past week, and that makes me tired, but so does all of the emotion.

I am rethinking some of my scheduling commitments this year, I need to take better stock of my time and energy and focus on the most important things to nurture myself and my children. I need to follow Randy's example and have a day of reflection and make the necessary changes for this year. (By the way, Randy said I can invite you all to the discussion forums he has going, but you do need to register first--to dodge any of the evil Spammeristas who shut down his blog, those dirty rats!)

me again

So I finally got some pictures developed and put on a disk.

Me and mini-me.

Art therapy II

Art therapy I

The Stuntman took this picture, (not bad for a four year old) I was instructed to "make a face". 

The Stuntman, Prettiness, and the Artist. 

Autumn fun with the Artist and the Stuntman. 

Prettiness, mommy and the bunnycake. This is L's first birthday.

groovy girls night

I woke up this morning with a mild headache, very sore knees and a developing blister on the ball of my left foot. A had a night on the town with six girlfriends at a hip newish venue. The Red Maple is a groovin' classy tappas lounge with delicious food and drink and desserts worth every extra calorie. After 9:30 or so, it was a little too loud to converse with anyone who wasn't directly infront of or next to me, as the music began to get faster and people started to crowd the bar. So we got the party started on the dance floor. The d.j. was mixing up some Persian, Indian, hiphop blends which takes a little getting use to, but if anyone is unsure of how to move to this beat, you can take cues from the Bollywood musicals projected on the far wall of the courtyard. (Very funny to watch-people on the dance floor were also amusing) There were several moments when I thought it would be fun to draw this depiction of social ritual, perhaps I may try that sometime.

Upon discussing the previous nights hits and misses with my good friend, we wondered why is it that the less desirable guys are the ones with guts enough to "move in" on the dance floor, especially since they are certain of repeated rejection?

Why I hate New Year's Eve

I guess it started as a teenager, my romantic notions for what New Year's Eve celebrations should be like. Perhaps I watched too many Fred and Ginger, Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn movies during those impressionable years. I think when I was fourteen or fifteen I had my first big New Year's disappointment (staying home watching the ball drop on t.v. while everyone else in my family had parties to go to), and it hasn't really improved ever since. There is just too much pressure to "start the year off right," and for some reason I have bought into that notion that you can't be asleep when the calendar changes so I am usually sleep deprived when the year begins. I have certainly had some that were less disappointing than others, and those were the years where I had absolutely no expectations what-so-ever. So that is my New Year's resolution: no expectations for New Year's Eve. I might even be able to keep this one--usually I make the same resolution every year, and that is to floss every day.

I don't even consider Jan 1 the beginning of the year, anyway. As a student (and former student), teacher (and former wife of a teacher), and now mother of a school age child, my year has always "begun" in September, for as long as I can remember. That is how time is marked in my mind - the year is a big elipse, with September at one end.

Darn you, Blogger!

Yes, I'm still here, just hangin' in. I have written two lengthy posts since my "Blahs" and Blogger has froze up on me and lost them. So, I am just writing briefly to say that I survived my first single-mom Christmas, but just barely. It has been a hellish week, but there have been a few bright spots: spending time with family (immediate and extended), seeing some old friends from out-of-town, lots of chocolate, and fun presents to give and receive.

I think the dark clouds of holiday depression are lifting, but we still have New Year's, and that is my least favorite holiday of them all (more on that later.)

I hope all of you bloggers, and readers are enjoying your time with family and friends, time off work and are able to be quiet with the Lord now that the rush is over.

Blahs

It would have been really nice to sleep all day today. Feeling the winter blahs. I still have some preparations (shopping) to do for Christmas, and of course more baking, but not today. M was supposed to have the kiddos for a few hours--my mental health break--but he "called in sick" and so no break for this tired momma. (I wish I could call in sick.)

Yesterday I woke at 6:30 with the baby, and after she went back to sleep, I decided to shower and get going with the day. It felt really good to be able to sit and read in those early quiet hours. I almost decided to do it everyday. Almost, until this morning. The bed was so warm and fluffy, and my eyelids were like lead. So I slept until the children were begging for breakfast and the disgruntled Stuntman was wanting "Byoo jeans" which were not yet dry from washing. He sat naked on the floor for about ten minutes complaining and then dug out a pair from the hamper and after that he seemed much better. (God forbid he stay in his comfy p.j.'s an extra hour until his pants were dry--that' s what I always do.)

Generally feeling blah, sort of sad, mostly tired and somewhat overwhelmed with all the responsibility today. This is supposed to get easier, right? (Please send hugs.)

Art taxi

Last night my friend, Gordon, called with a favor to ask. He needed some help transporting some of his paintings to local radio station for an exhibit. I think I was his last hope, I know he wouldn't have called me first. Anyway, I was glad to put my minivan to good use in supporting a local starving artist, so I said "of course". While driving all over downtown Baltimore, I saw several more of the "Evacuation Route" signs. Funny, I never had noticed them before, and now I am seeing them all over. I wonder how many millions of dollars went into that campaign? To be perfectly honest, anyone who can't find their way to a main artery leading out of the city shouldn't be in the city in the first place. I am no geographical wizard, I may get lost going into the city, but I sure as hell know how to find my out!